Hey campers,
It’s finally September, and you know what that means…
The spookiest, scariest, best time of the year is HERE! Yeah, I said this in the last post too. But this time it’s for real! I hope everyone is celebrating with pumpkin cream cold brews and Boo Oreos (I’m not an Oreo person but why are is that orange food coloring so fucking good?)
For the first Monster Camp post of the spooky season, I thought I’d share a roundup of a trip my partner and I took to Knoxville, Tennessee—somewhere neither of us had ever been, and the home of Dollywood. Yes, there are a few surprises in this post, so stay tuned 👀
The first surprise was spotting the holy grails of Halloween season:
If you don’t absolutely annihilate these every single season, you’re lying. On top of the fact that they’re safe to eat raw, it’s simply game over when I spot these in Target or the grocery store. We need to start a petition to have them available year round.
Next up was a little (and by “little” I mean “extreme”) VHS/Horror/Halloween shopping spree! We hit some antique malls, video stores, and other local spots around town—regardless of where we ended up, my wallet was hurting and it was completely worth it. Who knew Knoxville’s horror/film scene was so fucking cool?
Exhibit A: Grindhouse Video.
Grindhouse was one of the best stops of the trip—I’m talking wall-to-wall VHS, a super impressive blu-ray/DVD archive, vintage magazines (been wanting these Buffy Fangoria issues for so long now!), toys and collectibles, and a great, kind staff. Can’t wait to visit again soon and this time I’ll be sure to bring a bigger suitcase with me.
The Southland Dungeon was next up and had a sweet selection of horror movies, books, comics, collectibles, and so much more! Another great experience with super kind staff, perfect ambiance, and hours of browsing.
Okay, let’s switch gears a bit and turn to the reason we went to Knoxville in the first place. The home of the woman we all love, America’s sweetheart, country legend—the ICONIC Dollywood!
Y’all, the sign doesn’t lie. It really is the most beautiful, picturesque park. From train rides into the Smokies to it being absolutely spotless, Dollywood is worth the hype. The staff was incredibly sweet and charming, the cinnamon bread was godly, and we also happened to stumble on to a little surprise along the way…
We were gagged. There’s no way, we thought—no way THE Dolly Parton was here on the same exact Monday afternoon filming for her new Christmas special. We kept exploring the park, stopping into shops and taking in the natural scenery. Then we found the chapel (yes there’s a chapel in Dollywood where people can go pray lol), and film crews were fully set up all over.
A worker came up to us and told us that Dolly was in fact inside filming and that they would be breaking for lunch soon, clearly a fan and a QUEEN for giving us this tip. So we sat with our cinnamon bread and waited. The security began putting up ropes to block off traffic of people walking up and down the way, the golf cart pulled up, and people started freaking out. It was happening.
The one and only Dolly Parton drove up in front of us (twice in one day) and gave us a wave after we screamed HI DOLLY to her. She was clearly serving. Her golf cart drove away, and some people around us came up to me to ask to see the photos and video I got. It was about noon and we had seen Miss Dolly twice. What more could we have wanted?! 😭🦋
We walked around and saw some fall decorations that were beginning to pop up around the park, but the gays were too stunned to speak. We spent a few more hours roaming keeping an eye out for big blonde hair and even bigger security guards, then decided to head home for the night. What a day it was.
Rounding out the trip, we had one stop left to make before heading to the airport. Can you guess what it was?
The first Spirit stop of the season was everything you’d expect it to be: animatronics that are somehow broken after the store being open for literally two days and an intense plastic smell anywhere you turn. I loved every moment of it.
Here’s part of the horror haul—I’ll spare you the postcards, fake gold coins, and train whistle I purchased in a sugar-crazed state at Dollywood. Hope you all enjoyed coming on a recap journey with me!
What have you been doing to prep for October? Movie lists? Putting up decorations? Hoarding all the Pillsbury cookies you can get your hands on? Let me know in the comments, on Twitter, or shoot me an email: hellomonstercamp@gmail.com—as always, thanks so much for reading and I’ll catch you in the next one, ghouls 🌈🎃
Stay queer, spread fear,
Beyza 🖤